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When
we look back at our lives, it's often possible to see what events
have shaped us, and how we made life decisions that didn't work
out very well for us. We can relive the pain of past incidents,
and understand how what other people said to us shaped our beliefs
about ourself.
Parents
want what's best for their children and would like to protect their
children from those sorts of negative experiences. If there was
a way to ensure that all children grew up healthy, happy, confident,
educated and capable, it would transform the world.
Each
child has their own path to travel and lessons to learn that parents
can't protect them from. But teaching EFT is a gift that can help
them through those tough times. And used as a parenting aid, it
can help you guide your child towards being a strong adult.
Babies
When
a baby is distressed, it's sometimes hard to figure out what's wrong.
If you try all the obvious things like feeding and changing, or
rocking the baby in your arms, and nothing seems to work, think
of EFT.
First
use it on yourself, if you're at your wits end: "Even though
I don't know what my baby needs, I fully and deeply accept myself."
or "Even though I'm feeling very frustrated that my baby won't
stop crying....."
You
can also try EFT directly for the baby. Tapping itself might be
a bit rough for a young baby, so try Surrogate
Tapping or Touch and Breath
instead.
If
your baby is sick and you have a reasonable idea what they're feeling,
the words are easier to think of "Even though, I (baby's name)
have a sore foot, I'm a good baby and Mummy loves me" otherwise
use something more general "Even though, I (baby's name) am
feeling distressed, I'm ....". Either hold the baby and tap
on yourself, or touch and hold each tapping point on the baby while
you breathe in and out.
Toddlers
As
your child gets older, you can tap directly on him or her, and make
it into a game. Use age appropriate language for your self acceptance
phrase (eg. I'm a good girl), or just tap repeatedly through the
points with no setup, while he tells you the story of what happened,
or she explains what she's feeling. (Complain
and Tap)
School
age
Once
a child spends part of the time at school or kindergarten, there
will be things that happened during the day that you don't know
about. A helpful after school or bedtime routine is for your child
to tell you all about their day while you tap through the points.
Even tapping during good stories is helpful, as there can be hidden
downsides that you're clearing away. "I got 10/10 in the maths
test" (the unspoken and maybe unaware thought is "My friend
only got 2 and might get mad at me.")
To
read more about how to apply this technique, visit
Gary Craig's website
As
your child gets older, he or she will want to start tapping for
themselves (all going well!) or may not want to tap at all. Guide
them with appropraite language - "I'm a cool dude" might
be a more comfortable self acceptance phrase - and give them space
to decide for themselves when to tap.
You
may also have children who are already older that you want to teach
to tap. Here's an excellent
article by Ann Adams
who
works with disturbed children.
Teenagers
These
years are when children become themselves, and start to rebel no
matter how good your relationship has been. But if they're comfortable
with using EFT, it's an option that is always there for them. This
is a time when you may need to use EFT a lot yourself, and hope
that they remember EFT when it would be helpful.
This
is a general overview on how to use EFT with children. As well as
the articles linked to above, there are many more detailed articles
on
Gary Craig's website
on
a wide variety of children's topics. This section is a must-read
for all parents.
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