{"id":12878,"date":"2019-01-11T11:45:30","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T22:45:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/?p=12878"},"modified":"2019-11-23T19:30:01","modified_gmt":"2019-11-23T06:30:01","slug":"the-martian-anal-division","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/the-martian-anal-division\/","title":{"rendered":"THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION"},"content":{"rendered":"

THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION<\/strong><\/h1>\n
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I once wrote about a short story by Philip K Dick, called \u201cThe Martian Anal Division\u201d, and it was about a parallel version of our world in which everything is run by and for the benefit of a small but cunning collection of Martian invaders. It was an analogy for society in general but right now it’s a pretty good analogy for some of what is going on here on Steemit.
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“They live in tiny spaceships which they insert into their subjects anal passages. From deep within human anuses they emit their instructions, which their followers hear as a voice in their anus telling them what to do. These people are known as the Martian Anal Division (MAD).<\/p>\n

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One of the key symptoms of people who are controlled by Martians up their arses is that they not only want to do what the Martians tell them to, but that they also want to force everyone else to do it as well. They often revert to the phrase \u201cfor the greater good\u201d, and want to bring in \u201claws\u201d in the hope that they can force other people to \u201cconform\u201d to the wishes of the voices in their arses.<\/p>\n

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In an attempt to get a better handle on controlling the non-MAD population, they introduce social engineering such as water fluoridation (make the population sick and obedient), vaccinations (make them sick and infertile), fear of \u201cterrorism\u201d (submit to more laws and surveillance), fear of various \u201cglobal apocalypses\u201d (submit to more restrictions and taxes), and wars (the ultimate control system)<\/p>\n

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They also direct everyone with an anal implant to watch more TV, where they can obsess over misinformation called \u201cnews\u201d, listen to angry black men making guttural rhyming noises about hoes, yos, and bros, become jealous over the size of the breast implants of women who sing the things that the voices in their arses are saying, and enjoy watching stocky men in tight shorts battling each other over leather balls.<\/p>\n

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Luckily, for all their cunning, the Martians have some serious flaws in their evil plan. When they insert their micro spacecraft into their victim\u2019s anal passages, it tends to block their elimination of waste matter. So their victims slowly fill up with shit.<\/p>\n

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Already pressurized to bursting point, when they are confronted by people who refuse to conform, they start to turn purple and run around in circles making squawking noises like a chicken having an epileptic fit. Sometimes the backed up gasses start to escape from their arse like a loud rumbling fart, while sometimes they just blow up like an American false flag terrorists bomb\u201d<\/p>\n

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THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION I once wrote about a short story by Philip K Dick, called \u201cThe Martian Anal Division\u201d, and it was about a parallel version of our world in which everything is run by and for the benefit of a small but cunning collection of Martian invaders. It was an analogy for society […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[36,19,12,34],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11475,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/old-time-steemers-live-in-a-different-world-to-newbs\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":0},"title":"OLD TIME STEEMERS LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TO NEWBS","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"OLD TIME STEEMERS LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TO NEWBS Until this week I didn\u2019t realise I was a Steemit old timer, but now I\u2019m coming up to a year on Steemit and lately several things have drummed it into me that I inhabit a totally different Steemiverse to newbs.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "FUNNY"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19429,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/the-martian-anal-division-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":1},"title":"THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION","date":"November 8, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"In times gone by, we used to read fiction to explore imaginary realities. Now we live in a reality so bizarre even Philip K Dick probably would have needed to up his drug intake to deal with it... I once read a short story by Philip K Dick. It was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/eAyTuXc4toTcnHcoCQYm7dyzkW3SfMd5hjeK64KvtVKib7XY9L4Tf6XbXY8ZXLmm1JG14GEBFgS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":16270,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wordpress\/i-am-anal\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":2},"title":"I AM ANAL","date":"December 8, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"YES, I HAVE SOME ANAL TENDENCIES Now I don't mean that in some sort of sicko pervert way - I mean I like my stuff to be organised like a Formula One workshop. A few days ago I saw a really messy car, and that night had a nightmare about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "FROT DESIGN"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/mclaren-f1-02.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13729,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/i-was-abducted-by-aliens-and-anally-probed\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":3},"title":"I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED","date":"June 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED Sometimes we just have to bend over and take it like a gimp. This one time, I was abducted by aliens. After twelve hours of anal probing they informed me that I would now believe everything I was told by the government.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/14406_chroma-01-02b-500x281.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9996,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/frot-design\/steemit\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":4},"title":"STEEMIT","date":"March 21, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"NOT QUITE WHAT IT STEEMED Steemit appeared set to become the next big thing in 2016, but sadly from mid 2018 on, it just gradually devolved into a steeming pile of bullshit.\u00a0 www.steemit.com Steemit is a pretty huge subject, so I'll leave the tech side of it for geeks to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "FROT DESIGN"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/725_Ly9jb2ludGVsZWdyYXBoLmNvbS9zdG9yYWdlL3VwbG9hZHMvdmlldy8wOWZjZDA3ZDQwMjcwZjViZTNmNTEwZWEwNTc5Mzg0Yi5qcGc.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13654,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/imagine-if-the-darwin-awards-became-an-analogy-for-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":12878,"position":5},"title":"IMAGINE IF THE DARWIN AWARDS BECAME AN ANALOGY FOR LIFE","date":"June 8, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0Maybe we are becoming stupider by the day, but we haven't noticed yet? Probably best not to contemplate that - it might make us paranoid. FROT WEBSITE\u00a0http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz FROT BLOG\u00a0http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/blog PALNET FROT https:\/\/www.palnet.io\/@frot STEEMIT FROT https:\/\/steemit.com\/@frot STEEMIT SIFT666 https:\/\/steemit.com\/@sift666 \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "FUNNY"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/proxy.duckduckgqo.com_-500x261.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12878"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12878"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12878\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}