{"id":13729,"date":"2019-06-12T09:55:38","date_gmt":"2019-06-11T21:55:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/?p=13729"},"modified":"2019-11-23T21:11:22","modified_gmt":"2019-11-23T08:11:22","slug":"i-was-abducted-by-aliens-and-anally-probed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/i-was-abducted-by-aliens-and-anally-probed\/","title":{"rendered":"I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n

I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Sometimes we just have to bend over and take it like a gimp.<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

This one time, I was abducted by aliens. After twelve hours of anal probing they informed me that I would now believe everything I was told by the government.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/h3>\n

They also told me that the reason they had beamed me on board their ship was because I kept going on about conspiracies, and if I wanted to avoid further anal probing I would have to stop all that.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\n

<\/strong><\/h3>\n

So to all the people who want to ask me if I have been abducted by aliens, the short answer is yes, and that is why I haven’t been mentioning any conspiracies.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Then today I realised that we are all being anally probed our sleep anyway so I might as well keep going on about conspiracies.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I’m probably in line for some extra hardcore probing, but what the hell.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED Sometimes we just have to bend over and take it like a gimp. This one time, I was abducted by aliens. After twelve hours of anal probing they informed me that I would now believe everything I was told by the government. They also told me that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[36,19,12,34],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12799,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/steemit\/financial-advice-for-2019\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":0},"title":"FINANCIAL ADVICE FOR 2019","date":"January 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I KNOW THE FUTURE Being a day ahead of most of you, I know some things you don't. So this is all intended as financial advice. You should fully commit every dollar you can borrow and invest in my predictions: OK lets start with cryptos. They are going to go\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/GoArt_20181224_200453_897666066-01-500x283.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18375,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/art\/what-do-aliens-do-all-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":1},"title":"WHAT DO ALIENS DO ALL DAY?","date":"July 16, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Many people are aware that aliens walk among us. They are all over the place but some people are inhibited about asking what they actually do because they don\u2019t want to look like racists. What aliens enjoy doing most is abducting cows. They hover above fields and nab a cow\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16831,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/conspiracies\/conspiracy\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":2},"title":"CONSPIRACY","date":"April 2, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"A COLLECTION OF WILD CONSPIRACY POSTS ATOMIC BOMBS CDC COCACOLA DOW CHEMICALS FACEBOOK FALSE FLAG - NICE FALSE FLAG - ORLANDO FALSE FLAG - PARIS FLIGHT 370 FLUORIDE FLUORIDE POSTS GLOBAL WARMING GOOGLE HILLARY CLINTON MARIJUANA MICROWAVES ORGONE ENERGY PEAK OIL PENTAGON - 911 POLITICAL CORRECTNESS VACCINATIONS \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Radar-screen.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19192,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/conspiracies\/new-zealand-communist-party-meme-resources-page\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":3},"title":"NEW ZEALAND COMMUNIST PARTY MEME RESOURCES PAGE","date":"September 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Here is a selection of memes and images intended to celebrate New Zealand's glorious leadership. Please distribute them on social media for the greater good. Long live Comrade Cindy. \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/118118254_3493141554104678_3213642301531934592_n-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1925,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/conspiracies\/time-for-a-neo-passport\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":4},"title":"TIME FOR A NEO PASSPORT","date":"June 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Time for a neo passport. The passport for \u2018Neo\u2019 in\u00a0The Matrix, a movie released in 1999, shows an expiration date of 11 SEP 01. I know it's\u00a0 only another \"meaningless coincidence\" and there was only 3650 days for the producers to choose from. And it's not like The Matrix is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_XgsTodaivOI\/SucyEHchKMI\/AAAAAAAABCE\/Z0i_gghP-RE\/s1600\/18matrix-lg.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17622,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/conspiracies\/fun-with-genders\/","url_meta":{"origin":13729,"position":5},"title":"FUN WITH GENDERS","date":"May 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"You know that feeling when you are looking at your webpage about trannies and you think \"what this page needs is a tranny picture galley\".These are the sort of feelings when you are burned out from going on about imaginary pandemics for months, and need something totally different to focus\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/old-ugly-tranny-e148x344.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13729"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13729"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13729\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}