{"id":1761,"date":"2023-04-01T10:05:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-31T21:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/?p=1761"},"modified":"2023-04-15T13:21:54","modified_gmt":"2023-04-15T01:21:54","slug":"scrotum-self-repair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/scrotum-self-repair\/","title":{"rendered":"SCROTUM SELF REPAIR"},"content":{"rendered":"

Back in 1993 I printed this story out and put it up in a shop window where it attracted a crowd of people who stood there reading it! Ten years on I used it in one of my first blogs, and now 30 years later I’m reposting it again. Must be April 1st.<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

AN UNUSUAL CASE – by William A. Morton, Jr, MD (From an actual medical journal)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he \u201cneeded a doctor who took care of men\u2019s troubles.\u201d The patient, about 40, was pale. febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin. After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped around his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum. Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard. We x-rayed the patient\u2019s scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexaclorophrene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatie cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels lifated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed. Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital a week later, the patient confided the rest of his tory to me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

An unmarried loner, he usually didn\u2019t leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his coworkers. Finding himself alone, he began the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound close and resumed his work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in 1993 I printed this story out and put it up in a shop window where it attracted a crowd of people who stood there reading it! Ten years on I used it in one of my first blogs, and now 30 years later I’m reposting it again. Must be April 1st. AN UNUSUAL […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27680,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/51n3iNuqCqL._AC_SX425_.jpg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7742,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wapf\/paracetamol-toxic-lethal-and-totally-useless\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":0},"title":"Paracetamol - Toxic, potentially lethal, and totally useless...","date":"June 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Avoid this toxic chemical This toxic chemical has been rolling around since WW II, when U.S. manufacturers first \u201cobtained\u201d the patent from a German chemical company that manufactured toxic dyes. McNeil Labs of Philadelphia then developed acetaminophen into a drug and sold it off to Johnson & Johnson at a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/download.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8513,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wapf\/more-uses-for-vitamin-c\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":1},"title":"More uses for Vitamin C","date":"July 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Vitamin C stops drug addiction with zero withdrawal symptoms Findings related to vitamin C and natural cures for drug addiction show tremendous promise for overcoming addiction to hard drugs such as heroin. A vitamin C deficiency seems to correlate with drug addiction, and administering vitamin C in high doses offers\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "HEALTH"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1616,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wordpress\/why-do-i-post-this-stuff\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":2},"title":"Why do I post this stuff?","date":"July 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"These are things that for one reason or another I thought worth posting on the net. I eat meat regularly and am not a communist, a pornstar, a rubber fetishist, or an American. Hopefully not too many people will hate me for speaking out... My aim with most of my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/sift\/images_about\/share-thoughts.b.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29152,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wapf\/transcending-the-pandemic-narrative\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":3},"title":"Transcending the Pandemic Narrative","date":"August 28, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"How do we transcend the pandemic narrative and move into a new paradigm? To address that ques\u00adtion, first I want to discuss the fallacies, manipula\u00adtion and lies that this narrative has exposed us to, with a special focus on science and health. Then, I\u2019d like to talk about how we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/AP20071206249051.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1646,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/conspiracies\/9-11\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":4},"title":"911","date":"February 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"911 WAS ONE HELL OF A GOOD SCAM Today\u2019s \u201cconspiracy\u201d is tomorrow's common knowledge, and while most people now grasp that 911 was a false flag, back in 2002 many didn\u2019t, and some of them got quite worked up about it. In 2001 I was doing a bit of share\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "AMERICA"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/COUP.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5075,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/vaccines-found-to-activate-moron-genes-that-cause-further-belief-in-vaccines\/","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":5},"title":"Vaccines found to activate moron genes that cause further belief in vaccines","date":"January 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"MORON VACCINES - New research accidentally conducted by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has discovered that vaccines activate the \"moron\" genes that normally lie dormant in human beings. Once activated, these \"moron genes\" cause individuals to lose higher brain function and the ability to question false information fed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "CONSPIRACIES"","img":{"alt_text":"a.bill.gates.666","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/a.bill_.gates_.666-350x236.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1761"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27686,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761\/revisions\/27686"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}