{"id":19429,"date":"2023-11-08T09:28:28","date_gmt":"2023-11-07T20:28:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/?p=19429"},"modified":"2023-11-09T11:29:14","modified_gmt":"2023-11-08T22:29:14","slug":"the-martian-anal-division-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/the-martian-anal-division-2\/","title":{"rendered":"THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In times gone by, we used to read fiction to explore imaginary realities. Now we live in a reality so bizarre even Philip K Dick probably would have needed to up his drug intake to deal with it.<\/strong>..<\/em><\/h3>\n
I once read a short story by Philip K Dick. It was called \u201cThe Martian Anal Division\u201d, and it was about a parallel version of our world in which everything was run by and for the benefit of small but cunning Martian invaders.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
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\u201cThey live in tiny spaceships which they insert into their subjects anal passages. From deep within human anuses they emit their instructions, which their followers hear as a voice in their anus telling them what to do. These people are known as the Martian Anal Division (MAD).<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

One of the key symptoms of people who are controlled by Martians up their arses is that they not only want to do what the Martians tell them to, but that they also want to force everyone else to do it as well. They often revert to the phrase \u201cfor the greater good\u201d, and want to bring in \u201claws\u201d in the hope that they can force other people to \u201cconform\u201d to the wishes of the voices in their arses.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In an attempt to get a better handle on controlling the non-MAD population, they introduce social engineering such as water fluoridation (make the population sick and obedient), vaccinations (make them sick and infertile), fear of \u201cterrorism\u201d (submit to more laws and surveillance), fear of viruses, fear of various \u201cglobal apocalypses\u201d (submit to more restrictions and taxes), and wars (the ultimate control system)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

They also direct everyone with an anal implant to watch more TV, where they can obsess over misinformation called \u201cnews\u201d, listen to angry black men making guttural rhyming noises about hoes, yos, and bros, become jealous over the size of the breast implants of women who sing the things that the voices in their arses are saying, and enjoy watching stocky men in tight shorts battling each other over leather balls.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Luckily, for all their cunning, the Martians have some serious flaws in their evil plan. When they insert their micro spacecraft into their victim\u2019s anal passages, it tends to block their elimination of waste matter. So their victims slowly fill up with shit.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Already pressurized to bursting point, when they are confronted by people who refuse to conform, they start to turn purple and run around in circles making squawking noises like a chicken having an epileptic fit. Sometimes the backed up gasses start to escape from their arse like a loud rumbling fart, while sometimes they just blow up like an American false flag terrorists bomb\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

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\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In times gone by, we used to read fiction to explore imaginary realities. Now we live in a reality so bizarre even Philip K Dick probably would have needed to up his drug intake to deal with it… I once read a short story by Philip K Dick. It was called \u201cThe Martian Anal Division\u201d, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20583,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[36,12,55],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/eAyTuXc4toTcnHcoCQYm7dyzkW3SfMd5hjeK64KvtVKib7XY9L4Tf6XbXY8ZXLmm1JG14GEBFgS.jpg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12878,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/the-martian-anal-division\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":0},"title":"THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION","date":"January 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"THE MARTIAN ANAL DIVISION I once wrote about a short story by Philip K Dick, called \u201cThe Martian Anal Division\u201d, and it was about a parallel version of our world in which everything is run by and for the benefit of a small but cunning collection of Martian invaders. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ART"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/GoArt_20190111_111302_321498339-01-500x281.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11475,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/old-time-steemers-live-in-a-different-world-to-newbs\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":1},"title":"OLD TIME STEEMERS LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TO NEWBS","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"OLD TIME STEEMERS LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TO NEWBS Until this week I didn\u2019t realise I was a Steemit old timer, but now I\u2019m coming up to a year on Steemit and lately several things have drummed it into me that I inhabit a totally different Steemiverse to newbs.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "FUNNY"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22314,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/computing\/pawn\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":2},"title":"A QUARTER OF A MILLION PAWN TAGS","date":"October 14, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"After reading that more than 25% of all internet searches are for pawn, I began wondering if adding a bunch of pawn tags to a blog post would increase my site traffic. Pornography Statistics of USA: On average, there are over 372 people who search for the \u201cadult\u201d word on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "COMPUTING"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/image3A159400_chroma-02.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24815,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/tranny\/the-secret-history-of-trannies\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":3},"title":"THE SECRET HISTORY OF TRANNIES","date":"October 18, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in the 1920's this handsome JEWISH MAN was winning a lot of women's sporting events Called Fanny \"Bobby\" Rosenfeld, he was even voted \"Canadian woman athlete of the half-century\" in 1949 - WTF? There were lots of famous trannies 100 years ago, but nothing like the number there are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "GALLERY"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/2022-11-20_095149.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18210,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/funny\/my-next-website-project-is-yoga-pants-world\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":4},"title":"MY NEXT WEBSITE PROJECT IS YOGA PANTS WORLD","date":"March 28, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Yoga pants are a growing internet sensation. They are increasingly popular now, and there is growing demand for yoga pants websites with galleries of sub-categories. I have the feeling they are the next big growth area online so I want to grab a slice of the action, and monetize while\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "FUNNY"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/download-9-1-427x500-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22341,"url":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/globalist\/jacinda-ardern-naked-and-afraid\/","url_meta":{"origin":19429,"position":5},"title":"JACINDA ARDERN NAKED AND AFRAID","date":"April 5, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are half a million tag word's referring to the horse faced globalist puppet and evil transvestite known as Jacinda Ardern, aka. Comrade Jabcinda, New Zealand's ex-prime minister. This evil creature deserves to be hung for treason, but has instead been given a job controlling internet \"hate speech\". Yes I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "GLOBALIST"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/2020-08-16_083907cccp-01-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19429"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19429"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19429\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29587,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19429\/revisions\/29587"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.frot.co.nz\/design\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}