WHAT WOULD A TEENAGE BOGAN DO?

FROT January 13, 2019

WHAT WOULD A TEENAGE BOGAN DO? WHAT THE FUCK IS A BOGAN? Yesterday a complete twat called me a bogan. That really cracked me up. These days I couldn’t be further from being a bogan. In fact I’m a boring old fart who has to be a straight cunt because I might fall to bits […]

IT WAS STINKING HOT YESTERDAY AND EVERYTHING WENT APESHIT

FROT January 4, 2019

IT WAS STINKING HOT YESTERDAY AND EVERYTHING WENT APESHIT Fuck it was hot yesterday Just a week ago I was boasting online how hot and sunny it was here, but that was just to troll all the Northern Hemisphere punters who were moaning about being cold. Truth is, we are not bleeding Aussies, we are […]

HOUSE WITH A VIEW

FROT December 23, 2018

EVERYTHING IS PINK OK – I’m only posting this to make all you northern hemisphere dwellers jealous! A few minutes ago, @kiwideb said “look how pink the sky is” – and although it was already after 9pm, it’s the longest day of the year here today and it was still pretty light – so I […]

WE ARE BEING SWAMPED BY INVADING HOARDS

FROT December 9, 2018

Here in New Zealand tourist season has just started, and as well as the usual constant stream of planes landing, there is now a multitude of giant cruise liners coming into the harbour. This is a photo I took yesterday on our back lawn, of our weedy old chimney (It’s so 1928, but we never […]

HANGING OUT WITH DRUG DEALERS AT THE WELLINGTON WATERFRONT

FROT December 7, 2018

The Wellington waterfront has got it all, it’s sort of a South Pacific Miami vice. Where else can you sit in the sun surrounded by luxury apartments and flash boats and get wasted off your nut? Everything here screams “we have cash” The dealers park their Mercedes in front of their apartments And sit sipping […]

WHAT NOISE DO KIWIS MAKE?

FROT October 19, 2018

Like many New Zealanders I was totally unsure what noise Kiwis made. All the ones I’ve seen (in zoos and fruit bins and stuff) have been silent. But when they are pissed off – they go “squark” – check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=zRoarshptCA Most NZ birds are named after the noise they make – […]

SOMETIMES I GET CARRIED AWAY AND JUST GO TOO FAR…

FROT August 20, 2018

Have a bigger one One minute I’m just taking it easy, maybe just a small one, but one thing leads to another and next minute I start having a few bigger ones. Next thing, everything starts to get freaky. And then I find myself rolling about on the floor making squawking noises. You might think […]

PHOTOS OF SOME WELLINGTON STREET ART

FROT July 10, 2018

PHOTOS BY FROT

Is New Zealand’s prime minister actually a transvestite vampire?

FROT February 12, 2018

Just what is New Zealand’s new prime minister? In a recent election a new party leader popped up and became our latest prime minister. “Her” name is Jacinda Ardern NZ has a long history of corrupt politicians, just like most countries, and the first thing that made me suspicious about her is that she immediately […]

BLOWING UP POLITICIANS

FROT November 6, 2017

IN NEW ZEALAND WE CELEBRATE BLOWING UP POLITICIANS Every year on November the 5th, we have a huge public celebration of blowing up politicians with lots of bombs. Its called Guy Fawkes. Rather than hiring hundreds of crisis actors to lie about in the streets pretending to be dead, we just buy a few hundred […]

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Category: NEW ZEALAND