Being a day ahead of most of you, I know some things you don’t. So this is all intended as financial advice. You should fully commit every dollar you can borrow and invest in my predictions:

OK lets start with cryptos. They are going to go lower than they are now, before starting to very slowly climb a bit.

Some cryptos that could do OK are Dash, Monero, Etherium and Bitcoin. Meanwhile EOS will sit around with it’s finger up it’s arse, and Steem will drop further.

Bullion will only go up around 10% over the year but it’s a good insurance policy, because we are playing with fire here. The American economy is on thin ice, and if it goes into recession could potentially drag everything else down with it. But it will probably sort of hang together for another year, because there has to be some reason for Mexican transvestites to want to migrate to America.

Sharemarkets are all heading down, so shares of any kind are bad investments, and really there is very little else looking hopeful at this point. If you have money burning a hole in your pocket I recommend investing in art. The key growth area in art is freaky pictures of weird shit in bright colours, especially in digital format. These will go up in value faster than any other investment, so you should seek out such art and buy it at any price.

Here are four highly recommended artworks suitable for investment:

@frot –  “Freaks doing pervy shit” – digital – whatever size you like – $299

@frot –  “A big fuck off onion” – digital – whatever size you like – $299

@frot –  “After the pills kicked in” – digital – whatever size you like – $299

@frot –  “Then I was abducted and probed” – digital – whatever size you like – $299