Things are bit fucked in New Zealand these days, so I wanted to look out for number one and get a safe job before the economy collapses.

I applied for a job with the NZ communist party. I was hoping for $1 a day but they offered to pay me in toilet paper instead, and said all my needs will be taken care of.

Things went well and I have been chosen for a key role in social media. I have been appointed head of the offensive meme division.

My job is to act as a dissident violating communist standards, but really I am controlled opposition.

Yesterday I was hard at work making offensive memes and posting them. Next week I will receive my first roll of 2-ply!