When we look back at our lives, it’s often possible to see what events have shaped us, and how we made life decisions that didn’t work out very well for us. We can relive the pain of past incidents, and understand how what other people said to us shaped our beliefs about ourselves.
Parents want what’s best for their children and would like to protect their children from those sorts of negative experiences. If there was a way to ensure that all children grew up healthy, happy, confident, educated and capable, it would transform the world.
Each child has their own path to travel and lessons to learn that parents can’t protect them from. But teaching EFT is a gift that can help them through those tough times. And used as a parenting aid, it can help you guide your child towards being a strong adult.
When a baby is distressed, it’s sometimes hard to figure out what’s wrong. If you try all the obvious things like feeding and changing, or rocking the baby in your arms, and nothing seems to work, think of EFT.
First use it on yourself, if you’re at your wits end: “Even though I don’t know what my baby needs, I fully and deeply accept myself.” or “Even though I’m feeling very frustrated that my baby won’t stop crying…..”
You can also try EFT directly for the baby. Tapping itself might be a bit rough for a young baby, so try Surrogate Tapping or Touch and Breath instead. (see Other Ways to Tap)
If your baby is sick and you have a reasonable idea what they’re feeling, the words are easier to think of “Even though, I (baby’s name) have a sore foot, I’m a good baby and Mummy loves me” otherwise use something more general “Even though, I (baby’s name) am feeling distressed, I’m ….”. Either hold the baby and tap on yourself, or touch and hold each tapping point on the baby while you breathe in and out.
As your child gets older, you can tap directly on him or her, and make it into a game. Use age appropriate language for your self acceptance phrase (eg. I’m a good girl), or just tap repeatedly through the points with no setup, while he tells you the story of what happened, or she explains what she’s feeling. (see Other Ways to Tap – Complain and Tap)
Once a child spends part of the time at school or kindergarten, there will be things that happened during the day that you don’t know about. A helpful after school or bedtime routine is for your child to tell you all about their day while you tap through the points. Even tapping during good stories is helpful, as there can be hidden downsides that you’re clearing away. “I got 10/10 in the maths test” (the unspoken and maybe unaware thought is “My friend only got 2 and might get mad at me.”)
As your child gets older, he or she will want to start tapping for themselves (all going well!) or may not want to tap at all. Guide them with appropriate language – “I’m a cool dude” might be a more comfortable self acceptance phrase – and give them space to decide for themselves when to tap.
You may also have children who are already older that you want to teach to tap. Here’s an excellent article by Ann Adams who works with disturbed children.
These years are when children become themselves, and start to rebel no matter how good your relationship has been. But if they’re comfortable with using EFT, it’s an option that is always there for them. This is a time when you may need to use EFT a lot yourself, and hope that they remember EFT when it would be helpful.
This is a general overview on how to use EFT with children. As well as the articles linked to above, there are many more detailed articles on Gary Craig’s website on a wide variety of children’s topics. This section is a must-read for all parents.
While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it is still be considered to be in the experimental stage and each user must take complete responsibility for their own use of it.